She/her. 30-something, Canadian. I will reblog anything I find clever, funny or relevant to my interests. Mostly cute animals, biting social commentary, feminisim and PUNS!
My personal headcanon for Shadowgast is that Essek always finds his way back to Caleb. Even if Caleb tried to distance himself knowing he would grow old Essek makes it clear he dose not care about age or appearance because he love Caleb’s soul. Caleb has his heart forever and always no matter what. Sometimes Caleb finds him in his house cooking a meal sometimes he wakes up and Essek has slipped in bed beside him. Essek always ends up leaving because he can’t stay in one place for long and he enjoys seeing many friends now.
Essek is always plotting, making things, crafting spells developing new ones. He does make a pair of very small sending stones and sets the in a pair of matching rings. He gives one to Caleb and he wears the other in his left ring finger. He eventually unlocks the secret behind consecution and the reincarnation process of the Luxen. He doesn’t tell Caleb though. He knows Caleb want his soul to move on, to be with his parents again. When Caleb inevitably passes of old age Essek brings his body to the Blooming Grove and Cadeuceus enters him amongst his family plot. Essek eventually does the same for all the Mighty Nine, even Cadeuceus himself. Kingsley eludes him but Essek keeps hearing rumors of a new purple skinned, horned and tattooed Plank King and he has a sneaking suspicion that purple tiefling might just outlive him.
After that Essek retreats into a tower he has made for himself somewhere far from any civilization and has painstakingly enchanted every stone to keep prying eyes away from him. He keeps himself busy by crafting new spells and magic items and trying everything he can possibly think of with a small beacon he has found. He still wears his sending stone ring though he knows he’ll never hear from Caleb again but it feels right to keep wearing the ring because even if Caleb isn’t there he still has his heart.
One day Essek hears a voice coming from the ring: “H-Hello?” He thinks he is finally going mad at first but it comes again “Hello? Is this E-ssek?” the voice sounds unsure and it’s not anyone he recognizes. He is angry because he knows it means someone disturbed Caleb’s rest to get it “Who is this?!” he demands “How do you know who I am?” Essek starts to prepare the components he needs to teleport. Reading to send himself through space and time to exact revenge on a grave robber. “It’s…Euh… Caleb… I think. I’m not sure why I know this. I wasn’t born with this name but I heard it in my dreams. That’s how I knew to come pick up this ring. My ring.” Essek nearly drops everything he is holding “I can’t be!”
He teleports and is brought to a place he hasn’t seen in a very long time; the Blooming Grove. Essek winces in the daylight tho the trees provide a lot of shade. as his eyes adjust to the light he sees a half-elven young man kneeling over a grave and a pink haired firbolg he recognizes as Caduceus’ niece standing beside him with a knowing smile on her face. he knows exactly which grave the man in kneeling at; Caleb’s. Essek is surprised to see the earth undisturbed save for a small hand sized earth patch in front of the young man. The young man seems to recognize him and tears well up in his eyes. “I don’t understand. I don’t understand but i know you! why? How?” The firbolg pipes up “You’ll need time,” She says looking directly at Essek “and Patience before you can remember. I’m sure Essek can help you, he is very knowledgeable about magic. You’ll help him won’t you, Essek Widowgast?” She asked in a tone that said “of course you will” without speaking the words out loud.
Of course he does; Essek is too curious he needs to know what happened. So he takes the young man back with him to his towers and they go through the rituals similar to when reborn consecuted souls go through to regain their memories. When the memories do come back and it’s clear that this man is indeed the same soul he remembers Essek asks: “How is this possible?” Caleb smiles in a way that only Caleb could and answers “You were a bit careless with your notes and you know me;” he tapes his forehead “once it’s in it doesn’t leave. Once I knew I started to think, dangerous I know; my parents can wait. Cadeuceus told me time doesn’t exist on the other side, not like it does here. And I thought what is a few more centuries for souls who know no time? So I did it myself. I asked the others m9 for help with certain parts”
“Why?” Essek follows up, tears welling in he eyes.
“Because I knew you still had a few centuries to live and I didn’t want you to spend them alone.” he motions to the tower Essek has isolated himself in for the past 50 or so years.
“I’m not completely alone here!” Essek says incredulously petting an orange tabby named frumpkin the fourth.
“Cats don’t count meine Geliebte.” Caleb says with a smile
They continue Essek’s work and find a way to spread the knowledge he accumulated in a way that will help the most people they can. Becoming teachers for a bit. Eventually when they are both nearing the end of their lives they teleport the entire tower to the blooming grove. it becomes and extension of the house/temple there. The two retired wizards spend their twilight years gardening until they are eventually both entered side by side by Cadeuceus’ family. They both choose not to come back this time. And so now they rest souls at peace with the souls of their loved ones forever in peace together.
Really wish words like “crossdresser” and “transvestite” didn’t get pushed out of people’s vocabulary cause now we’ve got 20yr olds who genuinely believe the two modes of expression are True Transgender and Valor Thief. Seeing takes like “men dressing as women is making a mockery of the transfeminine experience” (predominantly regarding F1nn5ter or celebs in skirts). Like ohhhh you are so right! We need to protect the divine feminine from any measure of mockery. You know what? We should gather weapons and storm our nearest Drag Story Hour and teach those degenerates a lesson.
Agree with everything else but it really depends what you mean by “finn’s egg cracked” because he still does not ID as trans and people are mad about it. He apparently described himself as not trans and not cis and there was uproar about how it isn’t a thing or he needs to pick one—again, deciding either he is True Transgender or a Valor Thief.
He could end up coming out as trans, he could end up finding he likes labels like “nonbinary” OR he could still identify with GNC labels. All of which are not really our business and I feel sorry that this young kid’s whole identity is out there for everyone to scrutinize.
I really really hate tumbr’s obsession with egg cracking and deciding that everyone is either in denial and needs to be prematurely assigned labels, or is a faker stealing resources in which case queer community is restricted from them instead of just giving the guy space to figure out what he wants.
so many people think the point of queerness is to just replace cisheteronormativity with a better set of boxes to fit everyone in rather than rejecting the idea that it’s your job to tell anyone else what their box is
A Curated List Of My Favorite Skeletons (and Skulls!)
We shall start, of course, with the obvious: Stringray!
Followed neatly by pufferfish!
gila monster skull (shh they are sleeping)
moving on to flamingos bc they have so little to work with but they stretch it so far
veiled chameleon skull (plus art by Elena Barbieri so you comprehend the importance of the sclerotic ring bone!) (bc some eyes have bones! some eyes have bones and that is so so valid)
love us a good old-fashioned mole
the tucan, always a fun classic
in conclusion, a few dainty gibbon skeletons to calm you soul, bc why the heck not <3
(yes the last one is a real vintage postcard sold in real Natural History Museum gift shops, before for some reason they reconsidered this marketing decision)
You know how canaries were historically brought into coal mines, because if the mine was full of carbon monoxide the canary would die first and the miners would be able to escape before they died too?
I just found the greatest thing.
This is a canary resuscitator.
When the miners notice the canary getting sick with carbon monoxide poisoning, they can close that circular hatch so no more gas gets into the canary cage, and open the valve on that oxygen tank to keep the canary breathing. In other words, they made a spacesuit for birds.
By immediately giving the canary access to clean air, the miners can save it from the poison. The bird lives. To be clear, this is not for economic purposes, this was specifically created because the miners felt bad and wanted to save the bird.
Isn’t that just the perfect demonstration of what humans are like? We started sacrificing small creatures to save ourselves, and then felt bad and spent our valuable resources on saving the critters too. Because yeah the canary was the only way to test for CO, but it’s a living creature too, dammit!
I think one of the reasons drag kings aren’t as popular as drag queens, aside from the fact that straight women don’t like us, is that people are uncomfortable acknowledging masculinity as a performance. Like we as a society know that femininity is a performance, with its own costumes and rules. Masculinity is also a performance, and nothing makes that more clear than someone making an exaggeration of it
To everyone saying that “uh actually it’s cause drag kings aren’t as visually interesting”
(seriously so many days i’m like “i have all afternoon I’ma Do a Thing” and then i just kinda buzz around and do Nothing and think “WHY” and then i’m like “oh yeah i’m really fuckening tired”)
-gotta be Excited About It (ADHD brain only does things if they’re Literally the Most Interesting Thing Happening Right Now) (so like, hype yourself up to work on a project, or think about how happy you’ll be with a cleaner room/all those chores done)
-gotta have small, doable first step (like, “get cloth from fabric drawer” or “open google docs”
-FUCK distractions (computer is in drawer, phone is Off)
-Engage the Senses (if task needs Brain, play vague background Music, if task needs No Brain, listen to audiobook/podcast)
-maybe set time limit so i don’t get lost??? e.g. i have a little egg timer that i use because the ticking isn’t distracting but is enough to remind me that Time is a Thing that is Passing Right Now
-gotta have Self Awareness and Thinky about the Moment (get into the habit of Consciously Noticing what you’re doing at the moment, so you’re more likely to go “wait, this isn’t what i wanted to be doing” and be able to redirect)
-be willing to redirect and try to do something else if whatever you want to do Just Isn’t Happening
-DON’T beat yourself up for only doing part of something, or failing entirely- all that does is make your brain associate “trying to do stuff” with “well that SUCKED”. Which means you don’t want to try again. Tell urself u did good for trying, and if it didn’t work, try again later, or figure out why it didn’t work and try a different way. Reward yourself for trying
this is what i’ve figured out about cajoling the Thinky No Worky Brain into Doing Stuff. it’s not 100% reliable, especially if I forget to do some of these things (like SLEEP), but it’s what i got, ya know??
ALT
